I am a mostly forgetful person. Even events of significance are easily forgotten. I have forgotten most of my trip to Rome and most of my trip to Paris. I don't know why, but certain things slip my mind while others are burned into my memory.
One particular season of my life, however, I do remember in detail. I was getting my first encounter with true humility. My life had been so riddled with secret spiritual failures. I even remember thinking, "What's the use of confessing and repenting? There's just too much." Instead, I decided to put in just enough effort to be ahead of everyone else in my external self-righteousness.
BUT GOD... slowly began to allow me to truly see with my eyes and listen with my ears... I began to examine my life and see the bullet holes that I'd shot in my own faith: pride, generic love, and--oh, the blanket statements! So I decided to get personal.
My pride claimed, "I don't care what anyone thinks... and I want to make sure that everyone knows it." My pride told others to be holy as it gagged and restrained and prevented the Holy Spirit from cutting out the sin in my life as a surgeon would cut out cancer.
What does it look like to be humble? I have no idea. But I do know this--if my righteousness has not been crucified and regenerated, it remains only my righteousness.
Isaiah 64:6
"All of us have become like one who is unclean,
and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags;
we all shrivel up like a leaf,
and like the wind our sins sweep us away."
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